Four

"Awake"

Defibrilation accomplished.

Suspended animation stasis complete.

You are awake now, the year is 4247

Approximately 720 hours from Mars.

Do not stress your body. Muscle loss has been

Extensive. Relax.

It is understandable that you feel overwhelmed,

Your brain's functional activity was allowed to optimize,

You will be experiencing slight withdrawals from your sleep state.

Please do your best to relax.

Follow my instruction for motor skills check,

Follow the light on the screen.

Open your mouth, do not try to speak,

Dispersing vocal lubricant, please swallow,

Now.

It was hard to believe the stars were peeking through the window,

Peacefully vibrant, They let their light ripple through the cosmos,

I am woken up from that seven year slumber,

Wondering if I am changed.

I went to sleep and thought of everything

in its entirety. Excessive.

Over and over 'til it twisted in the mold of

The curve of how I think. . .

Defining my progression, I inquire what lessons

may be taken from these dreams

My memory is torpid to return to me.

Everything feels warped and I'm so Weak.

Takes so much focus just to lift a finger

and Lingering before as if hanging on a string,

The Red Planet; destination of the disbanded,

Still so astoundingly small, a round little rock ball

Housing the station that takes us from extinction to

Salvation.

It's closer than ever,

Forever Have I waited

All the preparation and training,

I never thought I'd actually see the world ending. . .

I still haven't, I suppose

Why did I keep that visor closed?

For fear of seeing the brave souls save me

From the shockwaves and radiation?

I should have been observant.

Now, I'm alone, Inside my head.

While paranoia feeds the fire in

These thoughts I dread to comprehend,

yet obsess incessantly about

Circumventing all my common sense

End over end with doubt that there will

Ever be an intervention.

It is routing my good intentions

I can feel my mental state begin to rot

As time keeps passing into that backdrop,

A placid pool of ink, standing and reflecting

Images as if I were in outer space. . .

I am in outer space.

I am in outer space,

I'll never know a different place.

Never feel another Earthly breeze

Breaking against my face.

Every moment in the past, took for granted,

was wasted.

I've all this time to think about it.

A month of waiting, still, to recover

Before my arrival into the future,

and I'll see what survival we've achieved.

To push through and syndicate together,

As a commune, to live in peace and harmony.

Removing all the rumors about what is

and is not. Truth will hastily grace me at the base

All those Earthly titles we've been given,

As of now, will be erased, to create

This new Beginning with a population

that's been stricken down, beneath a fraction

of a percentage, no estimates surpassed

100,000,

So these thoughts I've doused myself in

Never compromise.

If I were wiser, I'd dispel these bouts,

Neglect the madness of this defected pride,

I need an ally. . .

As if the universe heard my cries-

incoming transmission from pod 0002,

"314159? Hello? You awake? 314159?

It's Bob Johnson, My computer says your stasis ended.

Listen- Hello?

You're probably still too weak to talk,

It took me a week to chalk up a single word,

If I remember correctly, But

I'm not certain- Hello?

I need to apologize for what you saw on the satellite,

I've had a while to think it over.

My sedation went awry- Hello?

You there?"

Something seemed off,

His voice was strained, yet he spoke so soft

"Nobody else has woken up yet,

I've really been in need of a friend,

I've floated alone all this time,

My frame of mind became brittle

Just a little sound or peep from your pod is

All I need.

I think I might be asleep,

I might just be dead

This hell of a ride has me frayed

Respond to me-

COME ON

I don't mean to be mean but I can tell

You're ignoring me"

This man must have snapped,

I'm too weak to talk back,

So move I my finger with all of my might,

Put him on mute and close my weary eyes,

No dreams did I make for me

Nothing, except the blink into darkness

and distinct return to the hum of my Pod,

and my journey, in turn.

The silence, so violent, it popped my weary ears

I switch off the mute,

And Bob Johnson, Still Jeering

Completely caught up within himself

His wealth of life quite apparent by his fury-

------(Message broken)------

Raw thoughts as they stream

Through his lost head, debased

and Impatient.

I made a leap of faith,

'Hey'

Strange.

A new kind of pain.

As if my larynx were made of gears and chains

Clanking my vocal chords, this raspy voice changed,

I don't hear it the same.

I feared for my sanity.

And Bob Johnson just hushed,

Instantaneously

Whispered his next words in a deranged kind of speech.

"What's that God?

Are you back with me, now?

Please, please answer me"

'I'm here, Bob'

"is that you, God?!"

'Bob. . . '

"Yes, God? Hello?"

I wasn't sure if he could hear clearly,

I didn't want to play the part he created for me,

But I couldn't supplement his insanity any further,

I nurtured my silence for a second,

Listened to his breathing shift into a panic,

He broke down into tears

"I just need a friend, God

i just need Something

to hold onto, This Ship

was draining me

I had to log off

I've been awake for years by myself.

I think. . .

It's hard to tell without the Earth under my feet,

Or any other person to compete with, or be with,

Please, just release me, Please

JUST SPEAK TO ME"

'BOB!'

I mustered up every bit of effort I had to spend,

I felt my throat become cluttered with blood,

I think I tore my tender chords. . .

My voice came out a sonic boom

that startled him into a lucidity.

I choked and gagged until my Cin-E

Sucked the fluids from me,

Administered a sedative-

I faded quickly

Out

then

Back

I woke instantly, or so I thought, til I saw the clock

19 hours lost to the darkness of that drugged up fog,

I could hear Bob muttering gutteral nonsense

Shuddering between snores

and that shored up some comfort,

Restored a little confidence that over time

I could help return the mad man back, from the fringe.

The Red planet drew closer with every second.

Seconds.

Minutes.

Days.

Time.

I still felt close to the cataclysm

But that was seven years ago and my soul feels no older. . .

Being worshipped by my elders, as long as I can remember,

Preparing me to send us in the right direction,

Might have ensnared me into a numbness.

My journey IS righteous

On Earth at least. . .

Out here in spce, it's all been phased out.

I might not have made it out alive.

This solitary confinement has me wrapped up in doubt, now.

Revisiting my past with this new outlook

Shedding new light onto this mind that cannot process it

so Quickly, anymore.

So the mouth begins to move,

Thinking just as fast as I do,

Like it's come to life and in conversation

with myself, I discovered the foundation inside was crumbling

as it shifted in this excessive stress. . .

but the last line of reason stayed strong

and switched this ill business around:

Ceased the mumbling. Zipped these lips shut

And sucked down one of Cin-E's godsend pills.

Out

then

Back

Look at the clock.

Fifteen more hours lost

And that planet grew a little bit bigger in my view.

I listened for Bob, but this time I heard Two different voices

The doctor must have come-to,

He was talking Bob back,

Getting him on track from his whacked out path.

Speaking slow and distinct,

Gentle. . .

I tried a whisper to test the noise i could procure,

but nothing aside the pain came of it.,

So I just listened to the obscure lines the doc was having to walk

To keep connected to the Broken Bob.

Their conversation soothed me.

I left it at that, for now

Cin-E gave another sedative when I asked for it.

Out

then

Back

Look at the clock, only ten hours passed.

Tried the chords again,

This time they emitted a sloppy note

As if ch

opp

ed

up.

The smoothness I was used to, Might have been abused too far.

It hit me hard. . . I liked my voice. . .

Just another death, I guess, in all this turmoil.

Changed?

Yes, I am.

The damned planet's horizon kept expanding

Bit by Bit

I noticed more strength in my body

From the electric pulse that Cin-E had been Distributing

To convulse my muscles while I slept.

Injecting me with sustenance

Being grown like a plant,

To be harvested

Once I land.

Strange.

Strange, Everything so Strange.

Without solid ground or gravity, these trails I think

Envelope me, It's still and Maddening.

Without any escape,

I must speak

I must end this silence from inside me

I must speak

'H-H-Hello'

The whisper hurt,

BUt like one of Cin-E's Sedatives

The response I got relaxed me.

"Oh hello there 314,

Bob is awake too, I just put him on mute,

I advise you do the same

He's suffering a slew of psychological conditions

at the moment,

Had a panic in his suspended animation from what

i've been able to sleuth out of him,

I think He's been awake by himself for

Over three years.

Dangerous thing,

Solitude."

'Yes, Yes it is

I've been up many hours

Maybe 100, 200

I'm not sure.

My thoughts were beginning to melt

Together. . .'

"aha, yes, yes they will,

Back on Earth,

Years and Years ago,

I was held hostage by rival proprietors,

Left in a cell, alone,

for weeks and weeks

And, well, what kept me Sane?

I-" SIGNAL LOST

Cin-E What just happened?

I do not comprehend your question

What happened to the signal?

The signal was terminated

Why?

I do not comprehend your question

"Kapooo! hahahahahahahaha"

'Bob!'

"Heeheeeheehehehee

Did you see that!?

hahahahahaha

Oh space is not a nice place!"

'Bob, what happened?'

"[incomprehensible]

Into debris

A big rock just swooped in and flattened him!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA"

Fuck.

Cin-E, Give me a sedative.

Out

Then

Back

Five hours passed

Cin-E, Why doesn't your sedative work as well?

The doses are reducing to prevent dependency

You can sleep without them.

A big help that is.

How many hours until arrival?

506

Are any other Pod Pilots within range, active?

Searching. . .

Pod0002 is active

fuck

Notify me when you catch an active signal.

Noted

I crammed my palms into my eyeball's sockets

Felt the pressure, the pain was dull and daunting

Enough to null out my nerve.

I debated whether or not to try talking to Bob

But He seemed. . .

"Heeheheeheeheheeheehee

Daddy say to float in space without your Rock Repellent!

Hahahahahahahaha"

Gone.

The pod continued to Hum.

'Cin-E, Sedate me-'

Out

...

Back.